What's gross? Farting in the bathtub. What's grosser than that? Catching the bubbles with your teeth.

Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom? They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.

Yo' Mama is so nasty, her farts are classified as biological weapons.

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight. "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit blitzed, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him. The next morning my ... read more

Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.