Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom? They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.

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Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.

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Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings.

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Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The first boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings." The second boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose." The third boy said, "Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt." The first and second boys where amazed. The second boy said, "Have you seen him do it?" "No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."

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If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.

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