Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"

 443

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If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.

 450

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A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel's elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, "Georgio, $100 an ounce." On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, "Chanel, $150 an ounce." The old lady's floor approaches and as the doors open, she bends over, farts and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."

 599

1  

Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.

 437

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Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.

 426

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