One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems okay but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again, she seems okay but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning ... read more

How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart? Her ears flap.

Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste?

Q: What's the difference between a freezer and a fag? A: A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom? They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.