Dave and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as Aircraft mechanics in Melbourne. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.  Dave said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!" Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?"  So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed. The next morning Dave wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!  Then the phone rin ... read more

Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.

Q. How do you know when you are getting old? A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

Yo' Mama is so poor, when she farts, her holey underwear whistles.

What do you call it when someone farts in a Gay Bar? Mating call