Q: What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public? A: A private tooter.

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Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink. If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.

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Yo momma so poor that when she farted she said clap your hands stomp your feet praise to the lord we have heat.

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Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"

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I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

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