How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart? Her ears flap.

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I farted in a room of hipsters and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.

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Confucius say, man who fart in church sit in own pew.

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Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.

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Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."

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