(A) You are not Tom Cruise, (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment, (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you, (D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"

 912

2  

Q: Whats the diffrence between a park bench and a black guy? A: The park bench can support a family.

 410

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If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.

 318

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Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !" Ramu: "It's a family tradition". Teacher: "What do you mean?" Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher". Teacher: "What about your mother?" Ramu: "She's a woman".

 420

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What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Your calves.

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