Johnny's father: "Let me see your report card." Johnny: "I don't have it." Johnny's father: "Why not?" Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

You have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough university credits to graduate. So now you're leaving college and embarking on the greatest adventure - and the biggest challenge - of your young lives: moving back in with your parents.

Son - "Dad whats the difference between confident and confidential?" Dad - "Hmm. You are my son. Of that I am confident. Your friend Timmy is also my son. That's confidential."

Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves. They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother. "Well," said the first one, "I bought Mom a huge house in Beverly Hills." "I bought her a Mercedes and hired a full-time driver for her." "I've got you both beat," said the third. "I bought her a miraculous parrot that can recite any Bible verse you tell it to." A little later, the mother sent out a thank you letter to all three sons. "Gerald - the house you bought was too big. I only live i ... read more

Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father. "Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."