Q: What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard? A: A new last name.

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Why did the Mexican take Xanax? For hispanic attacks.

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Q: What is white at the top and black at the bottom? A: Society!

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Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.

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Q: How do you know that Democrats are a diverse people? A: Because they keep count of how many people they know in each racial or ethnic category.

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