In Heaven: The cooks are French, The policemen are English, The mechanics are German, The lovers are Greek, The bankers are Swiss. In Hell: The cooks are English, The policemen are German, The mechanics are French, The lovers are Swiss, The bankers are Greek.

They are going to play golf at the business meeting. The guy flies out there a day early. He's got all day in Japan so he decides he wants to get himself a geisha. He goes to a house of ill repute and finds what he's looking for. He takes her in back and starts doing his thing. The girl starts going crazy. She starts yelling, "Machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!" He thinks, "This girl is loving this." Next day in the golf course he hits a hole in one. He doesn't know any Japanese so he yells, "Machigatta ana!" The Japanese guys ask him, "What do you mean wrong hole?"

A German woman is walking down the street. Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her. She screams, "Nein!, Nein" So two guys walk away.

Q: Did you hear about the Hungarian who thought his wife was trying to kill him? A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Hungarian Remover".

"Hey, today we got the four of clubs. A guy named Samir al-Aziz, a Ba'ath party bad guy. And we now have the four of clubs, the five of clubs, the five of spades and the seven of diamonds. I don't know what game they're playing at the White House, but today, when it was confirmed that we had the four of clubs, Condoleezza Rice had to take off her blouse." Bill Maher "The Pentagon said this week that the war in Iraq has cost $20 billion so far. The breakdown is operations: $10 billion; personnel: $6 billion; getting Bush re-elected: priceless." Bill Maher "The president boasted at t ... read more