I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.

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Why did the duck get arrested? because he was selling quack.

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Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."

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What do ducks wear to party's? A duck-sedo!

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If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up

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