A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."...

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Little Johnny's teacher asks him to make a sentence using the following words: defeat, deduct, defense and detail. Little Johnny says, "De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail."

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Why did the duck get arrested? because he was selling quack.

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Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."  The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."

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Q: Why did the duck go to Brooklyn? A: To buy some quack.

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