A drunk man was smoking drugs while driving. The policeman stop him and says, "Show me you ID?" The drunk man, "What drugs?"

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Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor? A: Drug Abuse.

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Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sex? They're called "Predickamints".

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Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!

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A 90 year old women goes to the doctor. Dr i can't stop farting, sure they don't smell and make no noise but still i can't take it any more. Well take these pills every day and come back in a week. Dr what did you do to me not only am i still farting now they smell as well! Oh very well , now about your hearing...

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