Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?" Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it." Doctor: "Why?" Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"

 646

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I'm trying to write a joke about overdosing on cocaine. But I need a line to end it.

 521

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Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

 495

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Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS! When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.

 701

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Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor? A: Drug Abuse.

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