I did so much crack, one day I broke in my own house. I ain't lying. I was halfway out the door with the TV before I realized it was my place. And before I broke in, I used to stand outside and case the joint. Finally, I said, "Damn, this brother will never come home!"

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I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ... 20 years old and mixed up with coke !

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Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!

 548

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There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the doctor. The doc ran some tests and sent him home with some medicine. The next day the doctor called and the wife answered. "I'm going to need to run a few more tests", the doctor said. "I'm going to need a semen, urine and a fecal sample". After she hung up the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?" "He needs a pair of your underwear".

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Chuck Norris once ate a whole bucket of sleepng pills and it managed to make him yawn.

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