How do you make a cat be a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match. It will go 'WOOF.'
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What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog? A tourist.
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Someone going to work sees a crowd of people walking. Looking at the beginning of course, he sees a coffin behind a gentleman with a little dog followed by the crowd. Approaching the owner and he asks him: "What happened here, man?" "Pff, my mother-in-law died," he said. "Hush how sad eh… And, if allowed, how?" "My dog bit her…" "You don't tell me! Could you lend him to me just for tonight?" "Get in line!"
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Q: Why do dogs lick their balls? A: Because they can. Q: So why do they stick their noses in women's crotches? A: Same reason.
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My dear old dad always said he had two big disappointments in life: the dog ran away and I didn't.
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