A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. "How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. "$345," says the doctor. "$345!!?" the lady asks. "Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."

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How do you make a cat be a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match. It will go 'WOOF.'

 706

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What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.

 482

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Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs? A:Right where you left him.

 318

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Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant? A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"

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