Yo' Mama is so nasty, when her dog farts, she takes the credit.

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Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.

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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

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A married couple go to a restaurant. A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it. The man asks, "Where's the burger?" The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit. "I was keeping it warm," she replies. The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."

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Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.

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