What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road? The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.

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Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."

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Someone going to work sees a crowd of people walking. Looking at the beginning of course, he sees a coffin behind a gentleman with a little dog followed by the crowd. Approaching the owner and he asks him: "What happened here, man?" "Pff, my mother-in-law died," he said. "Hush how sad eh… And, if allowed, how?" "My dog bit her…" "You don't tell me! Could you lend him to me just for tonight?" "Get in line!"

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Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.

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Yo' Mama is so nasty, when her dog farts, she takes the credit.

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