What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!
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A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. Aftere watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers " Wow, that's a really smart dog!". The man whispers backs "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"
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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
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Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common? A: Wet noses.
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Why was the cannibal looking peeky? Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
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