How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night.

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I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.

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Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.

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A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, "Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please". The barman says, "Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!" The dog replies, "Why? Do they need electricians?"

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A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?" The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite." The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. "Ouch!" He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!" The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!"

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