Q: What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision? A: In a divorce, you get rid of the whole schmuck.

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Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking goofy!"

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Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? A: In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.

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What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.

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Two coworkers were talking by the water fountain one guy said, "Today I got through the first step of getting divorced." The second guy replies, "Oh, did you go to Mr. Guggenheim? Everyone goes to him for divorces." The first man replies, "No, I just got married".

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