Q: If marriage is terrific what is divorce? A: Ten thousand!

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Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A:None, the sockets go with the house.

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Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce? A: He thought his wife was a flake.

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Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court. The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?" "Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear. He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge. "On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me." "Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"

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What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.

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