A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present. When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video. He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video. On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k. He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough. Then she turns to the camera. "Oh, hello, I want a divorce."

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Question: What do you call a woman who has lost 95 percent of her intelligence? Answer: Divorced.

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Money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element. The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.

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Q: Why is divorce so costly? A: Because its justified, despite all the trouble.

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Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce? A: He thought his wife was a flake.

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