Two coworkers were talking by the water fountain one guy said, "Today I got through the first step of getting divorced." The second guy replies, "Oh, did you go to Mr. Guggenheim? Everyone goes to him for divorces." The first man replies, "No, I just got married".

 631

0  

At a divorce court a family of bears is waiting for the judge to grant custody of little bear. The judge asks the baby bear, "Do you want to live with papa bear?" The baby bear replied, "No he beats me." The judge asked, so do you want to live with mommy bear! The baby bear said, "No she beats me too." The judge asked, "Then whom do you want to live with?" The baby bear says, "The Chicago bears, they don't beat anyone!"

 873

0  

Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."

 727

0  

Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."

 657

0  

Money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element. The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.

 2600

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