3 bums were outside a bar. The first one went in and asked for a fork. The second one went in and also asked for a fork. Then the third one went in and wanted a straw. At this point, the bartender became curious. "How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?" "Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."

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How do you make stew out of a leper? Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.

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Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths? A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.

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Q: What is the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? A: The taste

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Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?

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