Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore. Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!

 390

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Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump. "Well, go in the bushes." "What should I use to wipe my ass?" "Use a dollar bill." A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with s**t all over his hands. "What happened?" asks his friend. "I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters."

 660

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Q: What's the hardest thing about a sex change from a man to a woman? A: Inserting the anchovies

 252

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Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing. Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again–being so ashamed of what they were doing.

 1170

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Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't? A: A belly button between her boobs.

 364

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