Q: What is the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?
A: The taste
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An old woman goes to the doctor's office.
The doctor gives her a checkup and says, "I need to do stool, blood and urine tests."
The woman says, "Well can I just leave my underwear? Bingo starts in half an hour."
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What's the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
Grandmothers don't die when you fuck them up the ass.
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Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm."
