If I wanted some comeback, I'd wipe it off your chin!
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Q: Why are men like diapers? A: They are always on your ass and full of sh*t, and thankfully, they're disposable.
 161
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A good looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top. She raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her armpits. Meanwhile, a sloppy drunk on the other side of the bar signals the bartender, "Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me." The bartender replies, "What makes you think she's a ballerina?" "Because," answers the drunken man, "any chick that can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina."
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Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
 291
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What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.
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