What's grosser than gross? When you throw your underwear and it sticks to the wall. What's grosser than that? When you come back an hour later and it's moved up three feet.

Do you know what would be sick? If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner. Do you know what would be even worse? If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.

The poop list: -Ghost Poop: You feel the poop come out, but there is no poop in the toilet. -Clean Poop: You poop, it's in the toilet, but there's nothing on the toilet paper. -Second Wave Poop: You're done pooping and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, but something tells you you're not done. -Gassy Poop: Everyone within earshot is giggling. -Corn Poop: Self-explanatory. -Wet Cheeks Poop: (The power dump) Comes out of your butt so fast, your cheeks get splashed with water. -Upper Class Poop: This poop doesn't smell. -The Dangling Poop: This poop refuses to drop, and you just p ... read more

Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.

Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? A: You wake up wet!