Q: How do you know you're in a vampire bar? A: There's a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary.
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Q: Why was the condom flying through the air? A: It got pissed off.
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There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water. The bartender asked what for, because everyone else was drinking blood. The vampire pulled out a bloody tampon and said "TEA TIME!"
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What's the difference between a baby and a grandmother? Grandmothers don't die when you fuck them up the ass.
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Q: Why do men snore when they lie on their backs? A: Because when their balls fall over their a**holes, they vapor-lock.
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