Q: What is the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? A: The taste

Two statues, male and female, faced each other in the city park for many years. An angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." The statues came to life and smiled at each other. They ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, sat ... read more

Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste?

Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: The big hand touches the little one.

Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder? A: Looks like I'm getting a little behind in my work!