What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob. On the wall? Art. On the floor? Matt.

What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.

One man says, "I can't believe they are still together after all that crap." The other man says, "Who?" The first man says, "Your butt cheeks."

A guy is late to meet with his friends at the local bar the friends obviously ask why he is late and he responds: "Wow, you won't believe what just happened. So I take the usual route via the rail tracks and suddenly I see a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks." The friends are curious and ask: "Well, what happened next?" The guy says: "Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her." The friends are cheering and one friend asks: "Soo... did you get any head?" The guy says: "No, I couldn't find it..."

How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party? When the cake jumps out of the girl!