Q: What did one butt cheek say to the other? A: Together, we can stop this sh*t.

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Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? A: You wake up wet!

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.

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A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.

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Some advice for guys: When the red river's flowin', take the dirt road.

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