What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road? The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.

I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.

A Gujarati Funeral… A family in Gujarat got simply puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Puj. Ba) arrived from the US. It was sent by one of the Daughters. The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid; they found a letter on top addressed to all her brothers and sisters: Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben & Varsha, I am sending Puj. Ba’s dead body to you, since it was her last wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in Kadhywad, GUJARAT, India. Sorry, I could not come, all o ... read more

When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.

If someone ever intimidates you, remember that they're 70% water. Are you scared of water? Well you should be. 400,000 people drown per year.