Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.

 1001

0  

Q: How did the first man die from using Viagra? A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.

 35950

11  

Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."

 768

0  

English man Irish man Scotch man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, I will give you one thing before you die. The Englishman man say water, the Scotch man say whiskey, the Irish man says a car door. The Germans say, why do you want a car door. The Irish man says, because when it gets hot, it can wind down the window.

 361

0  

"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.

 78

0