Q: What do you get when you cross a Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand.
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"My son, this is your senior year at school so your mom and I decided that you’re going to be a doctor."
"But what are you saying dad? You know very well that I’m not in a position even to... kill a mosquito."
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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
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The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
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Q: What's the difference between death and taxes?
A: Congress doesn't meet every year to make death worse.