I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers

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Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.

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Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died? Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!

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A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, “I guess when I die you’ll come and dance on my grave.” The cadet replied, “Not me, Sarge…no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I’d never stand in another line!”

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Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead. I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.

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