Yo mama is so fat that when she died jesus couldn't lift her soul to heaven.
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Q: How did the wanna-be-hipster die? A: Trying to cross the mainstream!
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When a Jedi dies they become part of the force, when the force dies it becomes part of Chuck Norris.
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Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
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Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment. "I’m sorry," said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks." "But I could be dead by then!" "No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment."
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