Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor. He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss. "Sir, please calm down," the manager replied. "It's dead. It can't bother you now." "The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said. "It's his pallbearers."

 252

0  

The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.

 354

0  

By tradition, fathers wear a red flower on Father's Day, if their father is alive and a white flower if he's dead. And if they have a nagging wife and a house full of screaming kids, they wear a pink flower - which means they are living but wish they were dead.

 1211

1  

The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.

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The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion. No episode aired, as no one survived.

 48

2