Q: Where do suicide bombers go after they die? A: Everywhere!

 1946

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Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.

 68

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During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him. Teacher asks, "Johnny, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body." Little Johnny after thinking for a while says, "I saw a dead body cycling to school."

 443

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Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"

 564

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If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.

 179

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