Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment.
"I’m sorry," said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks."
"But I could be dead by then!"
"No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment."
1119
0
Chuck Norris can kill a man in 52 different ways using only a ballpoint pen.
179
0
"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter.
To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
77
0
Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.
948
0
Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here!
Cop: Okay, calm down.
Where are you?
Blonde: The cemetery!
Cop: *facepalm*
