Getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris? The only good news is you know when you will die.

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"My parachute did not work." Said no one ever.

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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.

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When a Jedi dies they become part of the force, when the force dies it becomes part of Chuck Norris.

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Who's the biggest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.

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