Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
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A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"
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Q: What's blue and doesn't fit?
A: A dead epileptic.
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Now, that's gotta be a hell of a thing to go to jail for cable.
You in there with mass murderers and everybody.
"What you in here for?"
"I killed six people. What you in here for?"
"Comedy Central."
