When I die, I wanna go like my grandpa... peacefully... sleeping... unlike the passengers in his car.

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A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami. The e-mail reads: Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. Sure is hot down here.

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Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

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English man Irish man Scotch man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, I will give you one thing before you die. The Englishman man say water, the Scotch man say whiskey, the Irish man says a car door. The Germans say, why do you want a car door. The Irish man says, because when it gets hot, it can wind down the window.

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Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.

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