A patient that was waiting for a heart transplant has the chance to choose tree alternatives: 1. One heart is from a young athlete that died from a car accident. 2. Second is the heart of a business man that never smoked or drunk that died from an airplane accident. 3. The last one is a lawyers heart that died after 30 years of experience. I'll take the lawyers heart. After the transplant, the doctor asks the patient: "Why did you choose the lawyers heart?" "Simple! I chose the heart that was less used..."

Yo mama is so stupid that when she got locked up in the supermarket she starved to death.

Yo mama so old, I told her to act her own age and she died.

Q: What do you call a group of men found drowned in a wine vat? A: The Grape-full Dead!

What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common? They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.