A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, "Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future." "I still don't get it" responded the Little Johnny. "Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better," said the dad. "Ok ... read more

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it." A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said, "Son, I'm real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your Bible diligently, but you didn't get hair cut!" The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know D ... read more

Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why. 'I've lost five cents,' sobbed Johnny. 'Don't worry,' said his dad kindly.' Here's five more for you,' At this Johnny howled louder than ever. 'Now what is it ?' asked his dad. 'I wish I'd said I'd lost ten cents!'

A man was in a bar one evening, when a drunk wandered over, shouting at the man "I pulled your mum just now!" the sober man just ignored him and carried on drinking. About half an hour later the drunk wandered over again. This time he said: "Your mum just gave me a BJ and swallowed" again the man ignored and carried on talking to his mates. Soon the very drunk man wandered over and shouted at the poor man: "I just fucked your mum, using every posistion possible." Eventally the man bored of this idiot, turned around and said "Go home dad, you're drunk."

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.