My kid and I were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. So I put my hand around my kid and told him "Well son, that's because daddy isn't aroused by men."

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The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.

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On a men's bathroom wall, someone had hastily scrawled, "I slept with your mother." Underneath it, another person had written, "Go home dad, you're drunk."

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Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob? Dad: Ohhh yeah I do! Son: How did it taste? Dad: Get out.

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Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?" Chuck Norris is your daddy.

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