Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
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Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father: No. Why do you ask that? Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
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Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. School Secretary: Who is this? Pupil: This is my father speaking!
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Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night?" "I have to do that, or Daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny." "That's not going to work." "Why not?" "Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up again."
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A guy buys his first motorcycle. The dealer tells him to keep a jar of Vaseline handy to rub on the chrome before it rains to prevent rusting. A few months later, the young man's girlfriend invites him to dinner at her parents' house. Before they go in, she explains their family tradition that whomever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes. After dinner, everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break. After 15 minutes, the young man decides to speed things up. He leans over and kisses his woman in front of her family. No one says a word. Emboldened, he throw ... read more
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