My son asked me today, "Dad, what music did you like growing up?" "Led Zeppelin," I replied. "Who?" he said. "Yeah, I liked them too."

Little Johnny comes downstairs crying. His mother asked, "What’s the matter now?" "Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with hammer," said little Johnny through his tears. "That’s not so serious," soothed his mother. "I know you are upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. Why didn’t you just laugh?" "I did!" sobbed Johnny.

Why does the chicken is sad? Because his dad is a cock. Why does the chicken is even more sad? Because he faces the same future.

What did the dad say when his son said, "Dad I'm tired of walking in circles?" "Shut up kid or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."