Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine? A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"

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Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"

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My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.

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A teacher comes to the home of one naughty kid: "Is your mom at home?" "Nope, she's not here", says the naughty kid, quite scared. "And your father?" "No, he has hidden away as well..."

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Why do mexicans walk around the school like they own the place? Cause there dad built it and there mom cleans it at night.

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