My kid and I were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. So I put my hand around my kid and told him "Well son, that's because daddy isn't aroused by men."

After watching the grades of his child, the angry father said, "After seeing your grades, I feel like teaching a lesson or two and want to give a tight slap." The child excitedly says, "Yes dad, lets go, I know the addresses of all my teachers, we must teach them a lesson."

"If you had a dollar," quizzed the teacher, "and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?" "One dollar." answered little Johnny. "You don't know your basic math." said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed. Little Johnny shook his head too, "You don't know my daddy."

Three guys were sitting in a biker bar. A man came in, already drunk, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. The man looked around and saw the 3 men sitting at a corner table. He got up, staggered to the table, leaned over, looked the biggest one in the face and said, "I went by your grandma's house and I saw her in the hallway, buck naked. Man, she is fine!" The biker looked at him and didn't say a word. His buddies were confused,because he was a bad ass, and would fight at he drop of a hat. The drunk leaned on the table again and said, "I got it on with your grandma and she is ... read more

While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him. Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family: "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!" "What is it?" her sisters asked eagerly. Proudly she replied: "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"