A blonde walks in the ice cream parlor and orders a chocolate ice cream cone. The clerk tells her that he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a pint of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, just vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a quart of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a half gallon of chocolate ice cream. The clerk then asks her how she spells van as in vanilla. She says, V-A-N. H ... read more

Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."

An usher at a movie theatre notices a customer laying across three seats near the back of the theatre. He tells the customer that he can only take up one seat. The customer justs moans and rolls his eyes. The usher goes to get his supervisor who also tells the customer he must only take one seat or he will call the police. Once again the customer justs moans and rolls his eyes. The supervisor calls the police, who come and tell the customer that he has been told by the usher and the manager to sit up and that he can only take up one seat. "What's wrong with you?" they ask. The custome ... read more

A blonde goes into a near by store and asks the clerk if she can buy the T.V. in the corner. The store clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day and asks the same thing, and again he said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes back home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure the clerk would sell her the T.V. by now, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says she doesn't serve blondes as well. The blond asks the clerk, "How in the wor ... read more

Christian Doctor: "Your recovery was a miracle!" Christian Patient: "Thank God! Now I don't have to pay you."