How do you join the police? Handcuff them together.

 152

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Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on. He said "It's O.J. again. He's up there threatening to set himself on fire! We are going car to car collecting donations." "Donations!" I said, "How much you got so far?" He said "about ten gallons."

 417

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.

 207

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A blonde is driving a helicopter and it crashes. When the police come and ask the blond what happened she says, "I got cold so I turned off the big fan!"

 732

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Crude & Rude Dude A man's driving happily along in his car when he's pulled over by the police. The policeman approaches him and asks "Have you been drinking Sir?" "Why?" asks the man, "have I got a fat chick in my car?"

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