Microsoft Office doesn't correct Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris correct Microsoft Office.

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According to the police, if you hold your purse by the strap and under your arm, nothing will ever happen to you.... Unless your name happens to be Bruce.

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A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Homer gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn't find his way home. "Now Homer", said grandma, "You've been going to that park for over 30 years! So how could you get lost ?" Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear. Homer whispered, "I wasn't lost.....I was just too tired to walk home."

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Why was the picture sent to jail? It was framed.

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A cop asks a nigger: Can you legitimate yourself? Is this because I’m black?

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