Grandfather: When I was your age, I used to go to the market with two Rupees and bring home soap, rice, milk, bread, ghee, face powder etc. Grandson: nowadays it is difficult. There are CCTV cameras everywhere.

 3301

4  

Interviewer: Do you speak English? Applicant: Yes Interviewer: Name? Applicant: Gurmeet Ram and from India Interviewer: Sex? Applicant: Three to five times a week. Interviewer: No, no… I mean male or female? Applicant: Yes, male, female, sometimes Pig. Interviewer: Holy cow! Applicant: No Cow she is our mother and we drink her piss. Interviewer: But isn’t it hostile? Applicant: Horse style, doggy style, any style! Interviewer: Oh dear! Applicant: No, no! Deer runs too fast.

 908

0  

Relative: Son, what’s your age? Guy: 25 Relative: it’s an age of marriage, son. When will you marry? Guy: Very soon. And what’s your age, uncle? Relative: 70 Guy: it’s an age of death, uncle. When will you die?

 943

0  

Interviewer: Introduce yourself Boy: My father’s name is Laughing Boy: My mother’s name is Smiling Interviewer: Are you kidding? Boy: No, he’s my cousin and I’m Joking.

 912

0  

Graham Alexander Bell: I used to study under a candle William Shakespeare: I used to study under street light Mr. Bean: What did you guys do during the daytime?

 945

1