Graham Alexander Bell: I used to study under a candle William Shakespeare: I used to study under street light Mr. Bean: What did you guys do during the daytime?

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A: "I was born in California." B: "Which part?" A: "All of me."

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Grandfather: When I was your age, I used to go to the market with two Rupees and bring home soap, rice, milk, bread, ghee, face powder etc. Grandson: nowadays it is difficult. There are CCTV cameras everywhere.

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Boy 1: Can a woman make you a millionaire? Boy 2: Yes! If you are a billionaire!!

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Interviewer: Do you speak English? Applicant: Yes Interviewer: Name? Applicant: Gurmeet Ram and from India Interviewer: Sex? Applicant: Three to five times a week. Interviewer: No, no… I mean male or female? Applicant: Yes, male, female, sometimes Pig. Interviewer: Holy cow! Applicant: No Cow she is our mother and we drink her piss. Interviewer: But isn’t it hostile? Applicant: Horse style, doggy style, any style! Interviewer: Oh dear! Applicant: No, no! Deer runs too fast.

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