Boy: (calls 911) Hello, I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what’s your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.

 544

0  

A: "I was born in California." B: "Which part?" A: "All of me."

 489

0  

Wife was in the ICU Doctor: It seems she is in a coma Husband: Please save her doctor. She is just 30 Suddenly the ECG started beeping, a hand moved and her lips mumbled. And she spoke: I’m not 30, I’m just 29.

 527

0  

Boy: hey babe can I show you something? Girl: sure babe Boy: can I show this in your room? Girl: OK Boy: can we close the window? Girl: sure Boy: can you close the door? Girl: okay (grasping) Boy: can you turn off the lights? Girl: sure (even grasping) Boy: grab my hand Girl: (grab his hand) what is it, babe? Boy: look at this, my watch can glow in the dark

 634

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Mom: Do you think I’m a bad mom Jimmy? Son: Mom, my name is Jack!

 524

0