Boy: (calls 911) Hello, I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what’s your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.
868
0
John: Bro I’ve invited 17 people to watch a movie, would you come?
Bro: ok John, but why so many people?
John: Because the DVD said “Only 18+ viewers.”
Bro: Wait, what?
872
0
Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw?
Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)?
If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd."
802
0
Grandfather: When I was your age, I used to go to the market with two Rupees and bring home soap, rice, milk, bread, ghee, face powder etc.
Grandson: nowadays it is difficult. There are CCTV cameras everywhere.
3009
4
David: I love her so much
Richard: She’s just 14 and you are 28
David: Age is just a number
Richard: And jail is just a room