On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
"What's the matter? Are you sick?"
"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see an old lady standing."
884
0
Graham Alexander Bell: I used to study under a candle
William Shakespeare: I used to study under street light
Mr. Bean: What did you guys do during the daytime?
904
0
Teacher: Can you see God?
Student: No
Teacher: Can you touch God?
Student: No
Teacher: Then there is no God
Student: Ma’am can you see your brain?
Teacher: No
Student: Can you touch your brain?
Teacher: No
Student: Okay! No comments!!
1117
0
Teacher: Anyone who thinks he’s stupid may stand up!
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: I’m sure there are some stupid students over here!
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny you think you’re stupid?
Little Johnny: No… I just feel bad that you’re standing alone.
1025
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Boy: (calls 911) Hello, I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what’s your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.
