Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd."

 779

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John: Bro I’ve invited 17 people to watch a movie, would you come? Bro: ok John, but why so many people? John: Because the DVD said “Only 18+ viewers.” Bro: Wait, what?

 852

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Salesgirl: Sir No smoking in the shop Man: But I purchased cigarette from your shop. Salesgirl: Sir we sell condoms too.

 799

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A: "Excuse me. Do you know the way to the zoo?" B: "No, I'm sorry I don't." A: "Well, it's two blocks this way, then one block to the left."

 788

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Girl: OMG, You look so much better when you don’t wear your glasses Boy: Well, You look better when I don’t wear my glasses too.

 988

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