Boy: (calls 911) Hello, I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what’s your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.

 882

0  

A man meets an accident with his new Ferrari. A policeman arrives. Man: (Cried) Officer! My brand new car! Police: You’re such a materialistic person. You even haven’t notice that your left arm has been cut off. Man: (He looks at his left arm and yells) OMG! My Rolex watch!

 857

0  

A teacher is talking to a student. Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself.

 1051

0  

A: "Excuse me. Do you know the way to the zoo?" B: "No, I'm sorry I don't." A: "Well, it's two blocks this way, then one block to the left."

 829

0  

Boy: hey babe can I show you something? Girl: sure babe Boy: can I show this in your room? Girl: OK Boy: can we close the window? Girl: sure Boy: can you close the door? Girl: okay (grasping) Boy: can you turn off the lights? Girl: sure (even grasping) Boy: grab my hand Girl: (grab his hand) what is it, babe? Boy: look at this, my watch can glow in the dark

 1035

0