A man was complaining to a railroad engineer. What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. The railroad engineer replied. How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?

A teacher is talking to a student. Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself.

Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give? Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one? Interviewer: Brown one. Farmer: A couple of liters per day. Interviewer: And the black one? Farmer: A couple of liters per day. Interviewer (naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat? Farmer: Which one? Black or brown? Interviewer: Black. Farmer: It eats grass. Interviewer: And the other one? Farmer: Grass. Interviewer (now annoyed): Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same? Farmer: Because, the black one’s mine. Interviewer: Oh, and the br ... read more

John: Bro I’ve invited 17 people to watch a movie, would you come? Bro: ok John, but why so many people? John: Because the DVD said “Only 18+ viewers.” Bro: Wait, what?

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? A: Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!