Salesgirl: Sir No smoking in the shop Man: But I purchased cigarette from your shop. Salesgirl: Sir we sell condoms too.

Wife: Look at that drunk guy Husband: Who is he? Wife: 10 years ago he proposed me and I rejected him Husband: Oh my God. He is still celebrating.

Boy: Hey, you look so beautiful Girl: Aww. Thank you. I don’t know what to say. Boy: Just lie something, like I did.

Einstein: I will give you a question, and you will give a question to me as well. If you can’t answer my question, you will give me $1, and if I can’t answer your question, I will give you $1000 Mr. Bean: Okay Einstein: (Gives Mr. Bean a hard question) Mr. Bean: (Give $1 to Einstien) Einstein: Okay, now your turn. Mr. Bean: What is the animal that has 4 legs, and when he crosses a street he only has 2 legs, and when he goes back, he has 5 legs? Einstein: (Thinking very hard) I give up. I can’t answer that. (Einstein gives Mr. Bean $1000) Einstein: But what animal is that, Mr. Bean? Mr. ... read more

Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd."