A: "I was born in California." B: "Which part?" A: "All of me."

 900

0  

Relative: Son, what’s your age? Guy: 25 Relative: it’s an age of marriage, son. When will you marry? Guy: Very soon. And what’s your age, uncle? Relative: 70 Guy: it’s an age of death, uncle. When will you die?

 954

0  

Teacher: Anyone who thinks he’s stupid may stand up! *Nobody stands up* Teacher: I’m sure there are some stupid students over here! *Little Johnny stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny you think you’re stupid? Little Johnny: No… I just feel bad that you’re standing alone.

 1085

1  

Graham Alexander Bell: I used to study under a candle William Shakespeare: I used to study under street light Mr. Bean: What did you guys do during the daytime?

 958

1  

Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd."

 897

3