In high school, you can't go out to lunch because it's not allowed whereas in college, you can't go out to lunch because you can't afford it.

A student was lucky to find a decent accommodation with a cheap rent. His colleagues came to visit him and he was showing them the house. "This is the kitchen. This is the bedroom. And this one is the living room ... " "And what are this hammer and this pot that are hanging on the wall for? What are you going to do with them?" one of his colleagues asked. "This is a talking clock." "I have never seen a clock like that. Can you show me how it works?" "Sure. Look," the student said. He took the hammer and struck at the pot with all his strength. Then a voice was heard from the other side ... read more

Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college? A: A Basketball player.

College student 1. If you have ever price shopped for Top Ramen, you might be a college student. 2. If you live in a house with three couches, none of which match. 3. If you consider Mac and Cheese a balanced meal. 4. If you have ever written a check for 45 cents. 5. If you have a fine collection of domestic beer bottles. 6. If you have ever seen two consectutive sunrises without sleeping. 7. If your glass set is composed of McDonald's Extra Value Meal Plastic Cups (ie.Olympic Dream Team I or II). 8. If your underwear supply dictates the time between laundry loads. 9. If you cannot re ... read more

A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband. It says: "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me." He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So, I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 ... read more