Programmer. A machine that turns coffee into code.

 2008

0  

Programmer. A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.

 2064

0  

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.

 1189

0  

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

 1330

0  

How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.

 1352

0