If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.

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Algorithm. Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.

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99 little bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, 1 bug fixed... Compile again, 100 little bugs in the code.

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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

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Programmer. A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.

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