Programmer. A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.

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Algorithm. Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.

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Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? A: Because they don't C#.

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If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.

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How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.

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