Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!

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Q: What is an atheist's favorite Christmas movie? A: "Coincidence on 34th Street"

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Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"

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One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"

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A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

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