This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
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Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
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Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer? A: "First, YULE LOGon"!
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The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
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Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
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