The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.

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Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

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Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.

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Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer? A: "First, YULE LOGon"!

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Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.

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