What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes? A real Christmas Card!
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Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
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Yo mama is so fat that it's still printing her picture she took during her last Christmas.
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This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
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How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar? Both their balls are decoration only.
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