Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
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Yo mama is so fat that it's still printing her picture she took during her last Christmas.
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An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator. Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to fart. Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy. Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell. A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face. "Holy cow! What's that smell?" "I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?" "Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."
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Q: What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas Dinner? A: Toast their clients.
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Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
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