How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.

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Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!

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Q: What is an atheist's favorite Christmas movie? A: "Coincidence on 34th Street"

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One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"

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Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE..." "I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO..." "I PRAY FOR A NEW STEREO..." His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"

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