The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.

 997

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Q: What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas Dinner? A: Toast their clients.

 1664

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Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!

 1935

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Yo mama so stupid someone said Christmas was around the corner and she went looking for it.

 590

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Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.

 678

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