Yo mamma so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.

Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!

What did the black kid get for Christmas? YOUR BIKE!

One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah." The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did." The kid says, "Well, ... read more