Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.

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Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus' time? A:Yes, the Bible says that the disciples were all of one Accord.

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The main distinction between a boss and the Pope is the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

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A man was beaten up by robbers on the road. He lay on the side of the road, half dead. A humanist came along, saw him and passed by on the other side. A Samaritan came by and also crossed to the other side. Finally, a modern Christian came along, looked at the man and said: "Whoever did this to you needs help."

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Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark? A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.

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