Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar? A: He got Avogadro's number!

Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"? A: BaNa2

Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed. He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked. Little John ... read more

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.