Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!

Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses? He was a rough rider!

Bill Clinton walks out on to his front porch, and written in urine was "The president must go." Bill Clinton storms into his office and demaned to know who did it. So his two body guards run out to find out who it was. Five hours later the two gaurds come back in, they told Bill, "We have some bad news, and we have worse news." "What is the bad news?" asked Bill. "Well, the bad news is, we took a urine test, and it was his vice-president, Al Gore." "Whats the worst news?" asked Bill. "The worst news is that it is Hillary's hand writing!"

A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him. That man was Stephen Hawking.

Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead. I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.