Superman and The Flash have a race around the world. Who wins? Chuck Norris.
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A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him. That man was Stephen Hawking.
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I would actually use Siri if the voice sounded like Morgan Freeman.
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Bill Gates, Andy Grove, and Jerry Sanders (CEOs of MicroSoft, Intel, and AMD) were in a high-powered business meeting. During the serious, tense discussion, a beeping noise suddenly is emitted from where Bill is sitting. Bill says, “Oh, that’s my beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I need to take this call.” So Bill lifts his wristwatch to his ear and begins talking into the end of his tie. After completing this call, he notices the others are staring at him. Bill explains, “Oh, this is my new emergency communication system. I have an earpiece built into my watch and a microphone sewn into t ... read more
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Wanna know Victoria's Secret? She has a penis.
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