Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.

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The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.

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Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident? A: Some dick cut her off.

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Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.

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