A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. ''Hi,'' he croaks. ''What's your name?'' The loan officer says, ''My name is John Paddywack. May I help you?'' ''Yeah,'' says the frog. ''I'd like to borrow some money.'' The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. ''Okay,what's your name?'' The frog replies, ''Kermit Jagger.'' ''Really?'' says the loan officer. ''Any relation to Mick Jagger?'' ''Yeah, he's my dad.'' ''Hmmm,'' says the loan officer. ''Do you have any collateral?'' The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks, ''Wi ... read more

Yo momma so black Batman came and said damn b*tch I thought I was the dark night.

I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.