Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".

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When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed. She is now known as Britney Spears.

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Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems. They decide to throw a coin. Cannavino: "If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard." Gates: "Hey, you forgot Windows NT." Cannavino: "No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."

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I think Bing could have totally crushed Google if they had called it "Bang". I mean, think about it.. "I BANGED Emma Watson last night."

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Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons? A: They're a bunch of no bodies!

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