When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed. She is now known as Britney Spears.

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Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand. That pirate is now known as Captain Hook

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Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.

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Me: I just bought Tupacs of Eminems for 50 Cents. Friend: That's Ludacris. How Kanye West your money like that?

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Superman and The Flash have a race around the world. Who wins? Chuck Norris.

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