A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. "How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. "$345," says the doctor. "$345!!?" the lady asks. "Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."

 592

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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.

 850

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An old woman wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy. The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common."

 568

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Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought Meow Mix was a rap CD for cats.

 706

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A man brings his cat to a veterinarian. He lives the cat there and returns in two days, as preagreed. He asks the veterinarian: Is my cat still alive? Still not...

 571

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