Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought Meow Mix was a rap CD for cats.

How do you know if an Asian robbed you? Your homework is done and cats gone.

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.

Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’? A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.

In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day ... read more