Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
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Q: What has two legs and bleeds? A: Half a cat.
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What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten? An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!
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How to give a cat a pill. 1. Pick up the cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left Arm and repeat process. 3. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger ... read more
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I got a cat the other day. I had to swerve, but I got it.
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