Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’? A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.

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A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife and said: "See... here is the a monkey of the jungle." His wife said laughing, "That's a CAT ..." He said back to his wife, "I am talking to the cat!"

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Q: What is worst than raining black cats and bloodhounds? A: Hailing taxi cabs!

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Q: Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court? A: For kitty littering.

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Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked: "What are you up to there, Nancy?" "My goldfish died", replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned: "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied: "That's because he's inside your fucking cat."

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