Yo' Mama is so stupid, when she was pulled over for drunk driving and asked to walk a line, she said, "Which one?"

A guy walks into a bar carrying a pair of jumper cables. He sets em down on the bar. And then the bartender said "Now dont you start anything!"

Morris the loudmouth mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes. Morris shouted across the garage, "Hey DeBakey! Is dat you? Come on ova' here a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Morris the mechanic was working on the car. Morris straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So Mr. Fancy Doctor, look at dis here work. I also open hearts, take valves ... read more

Yo mama is so fat when she wears red they say look a firetruck.

Q: Why can't gays drive faster than 68mph? A: Because at 69 they blow a rod.