The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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In the High Court:
Do you know what you get for false testimony?
Yes, they promised me a Mercedes...
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Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house?
A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.
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When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
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Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.