A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

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When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.

 257

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"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?" "No." "Did he hurt the cows?" "No, he just grazed them."

 207

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A man finds a genie lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie comes out and says "I may grant you 3 wishes, but your wife gets double." The man wishes for a new car. The genie gives him a new car and the man's wife 2 new cars. The man then wishes for a new house. The genie gives him a new house and the man's wife 2 new houses. The man then says, "For my final wish, I wish to be beaten to half-death."

 1069

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What's a rabbits favourite car? Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.

 91

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