Yo mama so old her drivers license in hieroglyphics.

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Why do black people have nice shoes and nice cars but not nice houses? Because they haven't figured out how to steal houses yet!

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A nun gets on a bus thats empty except for the driver. She says "I'm going to die soon but I want to have sex before I die. Problem is I must remain a virgin so it has to be to ass. I can't commit adultery, so the man must be single.Can you fulfill my wish?" "Yes" says the bus driver and fulfills her wish. Feeling guilty he says "I'm sorry I lied, I'm married with 3 kids." "Thats ok" replied the nun "I lied too." "My name is Kevin and Im going to a fancy dress party."

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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.

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Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan.

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