Q: What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a painting of Jesus Christ? A: It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
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Seven friends once pulled this at my college cafeteria. One put a hot water bottle filled with pea soup down his chest; he sat at the head of a table, with the other six friends sitting along the sides. When the cafeteria was pretty full of people, he made a loud noise (to attract attention), stood up, bent over and squeezed his chest. This caused a huge gush of green liquid to spew all over the table; the other six immediately began to eat this green liquid. I think a lot of food went uneaten that night.
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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
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What's red and crawls up your leg? A homesick miscarriage.
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Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? An invalid.
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