The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him. "I'm sorry, he's dead," was the standard answer. Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the same voice, so she asked who it was and why he kept calling. The reply: "I used to be one of his junior associates, and I just like to hear you say it."

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Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.

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Q: Why did cow cross road? A: To find to the udder side.

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.

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Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."

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