The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping.

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Q: What's the difference between Auschwitz and Sarajevo? A: At least they had gas in Auschwitz.

 165

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A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"

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An apple and a black person both fall off a tree at the exact same time who hits the ground first? The apple because the rope catches the black person.

 214

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Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside. "Jack, I've got to confess -- I've been sleeping with your wife for 30 years, I'm the father of your daughter, and I've been stealing from the firm for a decade." "Relax," says Jack, "and don't think another thing about it. I'm the one who put arsenic in your martini."

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