A man with no legs is lying on the beach, when three attractive blondes approach him. The first blonde says to him "I bet you've never been hugged before." The legless man shakes his head. Then the second blonde says, "I bet you've never been kissed before." The legless man shakes his head again. Then the third blonde says, "I bet you've never been fucked before." The legless man says, "No." The third blonde replies, "Well you are now because the tide is coming in!"

 189

0  

Q: Did you hear her eyes were blue? A: Yeah, one blew this way, one blew that way...

 209

0  

The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping.

 216

0  

I got in trouble during high school for masturbating in the showers. Apparently it completely ruined the trip to Auschwitz.

 207

0  

Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels? A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.

 674

0