A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?" "Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"

 1250

1  

A Georgian man sits in the dock at the court, with his neck bended down. The judge: "Why did you rape the girl?" "I liked her." "Why did you raped the boy?" "I liked him." "Sir, why don't you look to my eyes when you talk to me?" "I'm afraid I'll like you…"

 256

0  

Q: How do you make a dog go ‘miaow’? A: Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw…

 296

0  

How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head.

 277

0  

Two hunters are out in the wood when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator:"My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies:"Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead. There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter seys,"Ok, now what?"

 213

0