A man answers the telephone to find a doctor from the hospital's emergency room on the other end. "Sir," explains the doctor, "Your wife was in a serious car accident. I have bad news and good news." The man, taken back, asks hesitatntly, "What's the bad news?" "The bad news is your wife has lost all use of both arms and both legs. She will likely be on a respirator for the rest of her life." "Heavens, Doc, what's the good news?" The doctor replies, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

 187

0  

Why is Hitler never invited to BBQ's? He always burns the franks.

 874

0  

What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.

 347

1  

A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."

 766

0  

Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.

 701

0