Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: Because you can see right through them!
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I walked passed a burnt out building with a broken sign saying "Fireworks". How right they were.
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The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
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What do an airport and a illegal abortion have in common? The Hanger.
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A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man." The man then "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."
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