Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

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Latecomer: Am I too late for the bonfire? Host: No jump up there on the sticks, there is room next to that Guy.

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Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead. I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.

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What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!

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Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall? A: To see her crack.

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