Use to be we had Bob Hope, Johnny Cash, and Steven Jobs. Now we have no hope, no cash, and no jobs. Please do not die Kevin Bacon.

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I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup? A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.

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Q: What does FUBU really stand for? A: Farmers used to buy us.

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Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket? A: Is that you coughin'?

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