I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.

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I'm thinking about opening a summer camp for jewish kids with adhd and dyslexia, I'm gonna call it Concentration camp.

 216

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? He got the gas bill.

 975

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If you want to feed an injured woodpecker, take it by the tail and hit it to the tree.

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Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? A: Because his wife died.

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