Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels? A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.
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A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
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How did the tugboat get AIDS? It was rear-ended by a ferry.
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"Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place?" "He was sacked for making a grave mistake."
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What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
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