Always go to other people’s funerals, or they won’t go to yours.

 187

0  

What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags.

 1384

0  

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers". She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?" To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."

 203

0  

When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.

 386

0  

What goes: "Click-is that it? Click-is that it? Click-is that it?" A blind person with a rubix cube.

 288

0