What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag.

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Knock Knock Whose there? 9/11 9/11 who? I thought you said you would never forget.

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Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."

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Q: Why are jelly beans alot like the world? A: Because everyone hates the black ones.

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Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies? A: Hey y'all... Watch this!

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