For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early. No one surprises Chuck Norris.

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Q: When will scientists cure the common cold? A: Actually, they already did but Republican pharmacists won't dispense it because they mistook it for birth control.

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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

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Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.

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There was this General-in-training, and his superiors were asking him questions “What happened on June 6, 1944?” “We stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as D-Day, sir!” “What was the turning point of world war 2?” “Battle of the bulge, sir!” “What’s is the importance of May 12″ The Man thought and thought “I don’t know, sir!” The superior then said “Well, I’ll tell your wife that you forgot her birthday.”

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