A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35,"he replied. "I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy. After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question. He replied, "Oh, you look about 29." "I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good. While standing at the bus stop she asked an ... read more
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What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.
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Q: What is your date of birth? A: December 30th. Q: What year? A: Every year
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After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
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The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
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