David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an obscenity. Those that weren’t expletives, were to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shocked the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude. Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the bird in the freezer, just for a few moments. He heard the bi ... read more

"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die." "Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."

Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.

There was this General-in-training, and his superiors were asking him questions “What happened on June 6, 1944?” “We stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as D-Day, sir!” “What was the turning point of world war 2?” “Battle of the bulge, sir!” “What’s is the importance of May 12″ The Man thought and thought “I don’t know, sir!” The superior then said “Well, I’ll tell your wife that you forgot her birthday.”

Its my birthday today. My wife has said that shes going to make it my most special birthday ever... I wonder where shes going ?