Wives want to videotape the birth of their child, while husbands want to videotape the conception.
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After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
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What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.
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Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
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A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, “Are you my dad?”. The doctor says, “No, I am your doctor!”. With that, the baby pops right back inside. “Damn!”, says the doctor. A short while later he sees the head push through again. “Are you my dad?”, asks the baby. “No, I am your doctor.”, he replies. Once again the baby vanishes back into his mother’s womb. The doctor turns to a nurse and says, “Nurse, get tha ... read more
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