There was this General-in-training, and his superiors were asking him questions “What happened on June 6, 1944?” “We stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as D-Day, sir!” “What was the turning point of world war 2?” “Battle of the bulge, sir!” “What’s is the importance of May 12″ The Man thought and thought “I don’t know, sir!” The superior then said “Well, I’ll tell your wife that you forgot her birthday.”

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The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...

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Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.

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What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.

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If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!

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