If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
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Q: What is your date of birth? A: December 30th. Q: What year? A: Every year
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Chuck Norris doesn't blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
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Dave's wife thinks that he is pushing himself too hard, so she takes him to a local strip club for his birthday. The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How are ya?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team." They sit and a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, "You must come here a lot for that woman to know what you drink." "No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them." A stripper comes over to their table and throws her ... read more
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The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
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