The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
 1946
0  

Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer.
 767
0  

A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional advice. "What kind of toy would you suggest giving a little boy on his third birthday?" she asked. "First I’d have to know more about the child," the psychologist hedged. The woman took a deep breath. "He’s very bright and quick-witted and exceptionally advanced for his age," she said. "He has good coordination, expresses himself very well…" "Oh, I see," the psychologist said, "It’s YOUR child!"
 629
0  

What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!
 1996
1  

If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
 876
3