Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
 501
0  

Q: When will scientists cure the common cold? A: Actually, they already did but Republican pharmacists won't dispense it because they mistook it for birth control.
 2643
2  

What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.
 766
2  

If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
 928
3  

Dave's wife thinks that he is pushing himself too hard, so she takes him to a local strip club for his birthday. The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How are ya?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team." They sit and a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, "You must come here a lot for that woman to know what you drink." "No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them." A stripper comes over to their table and throws her ... read more
 1146
1