Q: What's a good holiday tip? A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

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Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears. Confused, his father asks what's wrong. "Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."

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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

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Q: What's a polygon? A: A dead parrot.

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Chuck Norris can milk birds.

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