One day the zookeeper noticed that the Orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"? "Well," said the Orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."

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The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a donkey walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the donkey's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the donkey. "Your name is written inside the cover."

 1970

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Yo mama is so old that she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible.

 1160

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Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.

 952

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Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.

 1181

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