Yo mama is so old that she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible.

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One day the zookeeper noticed that the Orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"? "Well," said the Orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."

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Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.

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Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? Noah - he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.

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“I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me . . . they’re cramming for their final exam.”

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