A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!". After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"

 466

0  

A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer." The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars." The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender. "Sorry, sir," the bartender says, "but I can't accept that." The man pulls out a ten-dollar bill and the bartender rejects his money again. "What's going on here?" the man asks. Pointing to a neon sign, the bartender explains, "This is a Singles Bar."

 655

1  

A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."

 637

0  

Husband: Shall we try a new positon tonight? Wife: Sure. You stand by the ironing board, and I'll sit on the couch while drinking beer and farting.

 638

0  

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!" The policeman said, "What's he like?" Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!"

 703

0