One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is.

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A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! "Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks. "No," says the psychic, "in biology class."

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Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband: "So, how do I look?" "Well, at least you tried..."

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Patient: "Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?" Dentist: "Wear a brown tie..."

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Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones? Because they're hand made.

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