Man goes to a fancy dress party wearing only a glass jar on his p*nis. Lady asks, "What are you?" He says, "I'm a fireman." "But you're only wearing a glass jar," says the woman. He says, "Exactly, in an emergency, break glass." Pull knob and I'll cum as fast as I can!"

Patient: "Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?" Dentist: "Wear a brown tie..."

A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet. He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp. "This will look good on my mantel," he said, and took it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appeared and, as usual, granted him three wishes. "I would like an ice-cold Coke right now." He gets his Coke and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island with beautiful women, who find me irresistible." Suddenly, he's on an island with gor ... read more

One day while jogging, a man noticed two tennis balls lying by the side of the road. He picked the balls up, put them in his pocket and proceeded on his way. Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blonde standing next to him and smiling. "What are those big bulges in your running shorts?" she asked. "Tennis balls," answered the man, smiling back. "Wow," said the blonde, looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable."

Nothing beats a beautiful woman who can sing... except Chris Brown.