What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag.

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Your momma's pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn.

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Drake Bell: In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby "North West" I will be naming my first son "Taco".

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The nurse told the parents of a newly born child, "You have a cute baby." The smiling husband said, "I bet you say that to all new parents." "No," she replied, "just to those whose babies really are good-looking." The husband again asked "So what do you say to the others?" The nurse replied, "The baby looks just like you."

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