The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

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What did the Asian parents name their retarded baby. Sum ting wong.

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What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.

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Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!

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Mum has told her little girl all about the making of babies. Little Annie is now silent for a while. "You understand it now?" Mum asks. "Yes," replies her daughter. "Do you still have any questions?" "Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?" "In exactly the same way as with babies." "Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"

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