Why is making toast like an interracial couple having a baby? It's annoying when it comes out black.

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Which branch of the military do babies join? The infantry!

 427

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A three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in a doctor’s surgery. “Why is your stomach so big?” – he asks. “I´m having a baby.” – she replies. “Is the baby in your stomach?” – he asks, with his big eyes. “Yes, it is.” – she says. “Is it a good baby?” – he asks, with a puzzled look. “Oh, yes. A really good baby.” – the lady replies. Shocked and surprised, he asks: “Then why did you eat him?”

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Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

 819

2  

What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan? Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.

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