Your mamas so skinny she swallowed a meatball n thought she was pregnant.
192
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My wife is so negative.
I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
451
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When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears.
He had real bears.
302
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When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
291
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Kid to a pregnant girl at bus stop: "What are you expecting?"
The girl says, "A bus."
The kid turns to his friend and says: "Wow! I am 100% sure this chick got screwed by a Transformer!"