Who held the baby octopus to ransom? Squidnappers.

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What do you call a baby potato? A small fry.

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What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.

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Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?

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Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, ''How do you really feel? I mean, you're 75 years old, how do you honestly feel?'' ''Honestly, I feel like a new born baby. I've got no hair, no teeth, and I just peed myself.''

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