Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?

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Nurse: "If youre going to give grapes to a baby make sure you cut them in half." Me: [visibly confused] Wife: "The grapes, not the baby."

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What do you call a baby potato? A small fry.

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Who held the baby octopus to ransom? Squidnappers.

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Which branch of the military do babies join? The infantry!

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