How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.

What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds? A baby with a punctured lung.

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand." "Okay," said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?" "They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," "Thanks Mom," replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?" The mother, now a little impa ... read more

What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.