"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident." "Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"

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What do you call a baby potato? A small fry.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, “Don’t get excited, Albert; don’t scream, Albert; don’t yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert.” A woman standing next to him said, “You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert.” The man looked at her and said, “Lady, I’m Albert.”

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Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.

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