What bounces up and down at 100mph? A baby tied to the back of a truck.

LaShaunda had just given birth to a daughter and discussed possible names with her hospital roommate, LaQoowanga. LaShwanda mentioned a name she had heard in the doctor's office, "Vagina". When the hospital personnel asked her what name to put on the birth certificate, LaShaunda said "Vagina". "You can't name your baby that!" "Don't disrespect me! I be her mama. I can names her anything I want." When the hospital person tried to explained what the name meant, LaShaunda said, "No, No! that's a cootchie!"

What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ? Cancer.

How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.

Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? When the kids are in college.