Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

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The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

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Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!

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In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, “Don’t get excited, Albert; don’t scream, Albert; don’t yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert.” A woman standing next to him said, “You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert.” The man looked at her and said, “Lady, I’m Albert.”

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Your momma's pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn.

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