What is a baby? "A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."

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In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, “Don’t get excited, Albert; don’t scream, Albert; don’t yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert.” A woman standing next to him said, “You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert.” The man looked at her and said, “Lady, I’m Albert.”

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Jimmy's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?" His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Jimmy." Jimmy says, "Now! I can see why they threw him out!

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When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.

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Yo' mama so fat, when she was a baby, she took a bath with a rubber albatross.

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