An atheist was rowing on Loch Ness in Scotland one day, when suddenly the Loch Ness monster attacked and grabbed him from his boat. He panicked and shouted "God help me!", and suddenly, the monster and everything around him just froze. A voice from the heavens boomed "You say you don't believe in me, but now you're asking for my help?" The atheist looked up and said, "Well, ten seconds ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster either."

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Q: Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window? A: She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.

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Q: Did you hear about the the evangelical atheist? A: She went door to door with a book full of blank pages.

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Q: Why can't atheists solve exponential equations? A: Because they don't believe in higher powers.

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Q: Why did the boy come first in the 100 metre sprint? A: He had athlete's foot.

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