What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil? Pre-tanned leather.

Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan? He got cut off without a scent.

How do you shoot a great white shark? Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.

Two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there..."

Tom was walking down the street when he sees a funeral procession. At the head was the casket, behind was a man walking a very large dog and behind him were 300 people. Tom walks over to the guy with the dog and asks who’s funeral is this? The man answers, “My mother-in-law’s.” Tom wishes his condolences and asks, “She must of been a very important person, but what’s with the dog?” He answers, “This is the dog that killed her!” So Tom asks, “can I borrow the dog for an hour?” He responds, “Get on line!”