Q: What is a black cat's favorite color?
A: Purrrrrr-ple!
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What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand?
Cows-mopolitan!
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla?
An animal that puts you out at night.
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Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up?
Because the first thing a child looks up is dog.
The second is snake.
And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
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Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"
Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"