You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.

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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.

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What do you get from a cow on the North Pole? Cold cream.

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Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.

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