Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

 8

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Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.

 1062

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A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."

 140

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A man enters a little country store and sees a sign reading, ‘Danger! Beware of Dog’. He then sees an old hound dog lying asleep on the floor. ‘Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?’ says the man to the shopkeeper. ‘Yep,’ replies the shopkeeper. ‘Before I posted that sign, everyone kept tripping over him.’

 181

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What do you call a dinosaur with magic powers? Tyrannosaurus Hex.

 164

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