Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent? A: A snake in the brass.

Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent. They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.

You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.

The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.

Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey, I don’t want to tell you how to do something… but I can tell you that it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won’t dig into the ground." After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it. A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!" "Yeah, but we’re getting farther from the truck," the other added.