Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies? A: A rotisserie chicken.
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A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "There's no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What do dinosaurs put on their floors? Rep-tiles.
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Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch? (Because he was stuffed!)
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Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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