What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon? A bird who knocks before delivering its message !

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."

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A man runs over a cat. The cat’s address is on its collar so the man goes to apologise to the owner. He knocks on the door and a little old lady answers. The man says, ‘I’m so sorry. I’ve just run over your cat. Can I replace it?’ ‘I don’t know,’ replies the old lady. ‘How are you at catching mice?’

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How far can a rabbit run into the woods? Halfway. After that she's running out of the woods.

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What did the frog say to the fly? You are really starting to bug me!

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