A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur. "One spur?" asked the saddler. "Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?" "No, just one," replied the horseman. "If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"

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A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy.“

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Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant? He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.

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Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls. The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.

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Why don't whales eat sushi very often? Of course whales like sushi. It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.

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