Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "Oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches." Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
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Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."
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What do cows get when they do all their chores? Mooney.
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Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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What's black and white and rolls down the Boardwalk? A nigger and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.
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