What US state has the most cows? Moosouri.

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Q: How do you get ten fat cows in your basement? A: Hold a tupperware party!

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Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

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Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?" The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me." The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."

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Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?" The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"

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