Q: What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much? A: A beer-a-cuda!

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What’s the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic? A drunk goes to work.

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A grasshopper walks into a pub, pulls up a stool, and orders beer. The bartender gives him a mug and says, "you know, we have a drink named after you." And the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob?"

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A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman. She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!" The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Man, I'm on the wrong bus!"

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A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry, we don't serve food here".

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