A man walks into a bar and orders a 12-year-old scotch. The bartender, believing that the customer will not be able to tell the difference, pours him a shot of the cheap 3-year-old house scotch that has been poured into an empty bottle of the good stuff. The man takes a sip and spits the scotch out on the bar and reams the bartender. “This is the cheapest 3-year-old scotch you can buy. I’m not paying for it. Now, give me a good 12-year-old scotch.” The bartender, now feeling a bit of a challenge, pours him a scotch of much better quality, 6-year-old scotch. The man takes a sip and spits ... read more

Q: What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much? A: A beer-a-cuda!

Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says ''Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here'.

A guy is sitting in a bar and turns to the Asian guy next to him and asks: "Hey do you know, Tae Kwon Do, Jiu Jitsu, Kung Fu or any of that sh*t?" Offended the Asian man replies: "What you think that just because I'm asian I know martial arts?" The man replies: "Nah its because you're drinking my f*cking bourbon"

A bus conductor asks a drunk for his ticket. He goes through all his pockets but can’t find it. ‘It’s okay,’ says the conductor. ‘I’m sure you paid.’ ‘Never mind that,’ says the drunk. ‘If I can’t find it how am I supposed to know where I’m going?’