They say whisky and petrol don’t mix. They do, but it doesn’t taste nice.

There were three strings that walked into the bar. They sat down and they didn't get waited on so the first string walked up to the bar and asked for three beers. The bartender said, "I'm sorry buddy we don't serve strings in here." The string walks back to the table and tells his friends what the bartender said. "I've been here before and gotten a drink, I'll go get us something to drink," said the second string. The second sting walks up to the bar and politely asks the bartender for three beers. The bartender says, "I thought I told your buddy we don't serve strings in here." S ... read more

A neutron walks into the hotel bar and asks "how much for a beer?" The bartender says, "for you? no charge."

He doesn’t like to drink. It’s just something to do while he gets drunk.

Q: What do you call 24 sorority girls walking down the street? A: A case of Schlitz.