Alcohol doesn't make you FAT... it makes you LEAN... against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people!
 355
0  

Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 BC!
 181
0  

Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives. Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does." Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner, because of his incredible shaft." Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally asked, "Well, what do you call your boyfriend?" Kathy frowned and said, "The postman." Looking puzzeled Joanne asked, "Why the postman?" "Because… he always delivers late and half the time it’s in the wrong box."
 245
0  

Contrary to what people say, you can indeed drink to relax. Of course sometimes, you get so calm, you cant move.
 40
0  

I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
 186
0