Q: What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini? A: "Olive or twist?"
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We call my father-in-law the exorcist. Every time he visits he rids the house of spirits.
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A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents. The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think. After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey. It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought. Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time. Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whis ... read more
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Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? A: Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR.
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