While we all get checked by the airport security, Chuck checks the airport security.

A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out. The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him. The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid. "Is this really your grandmother?" "Yes. She visits every Christmas!" "Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists. "At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."

One day Dick Cheney, George Bush and Laura Bush were in a private jet going to France. Then, George Bush said, " If i throw this hundred dollar bill off this jet I'll make one person happy!" Then Dick Cheney said, " Man if i throw ten, ten dollar bills down, I'll make ten people happy!" Then Laura Bush said, " If I throw one hundred one dollar bills off this jet I'll make a hundred people happy." Then the pilot said, " Man, if I throw these 3 losers outta this jet, I'll make six billion people happy."

Air traffic controller: "Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." Airline pilot: "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" Air Traffic controller: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 737?"

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the chosen one. The world needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the plane. The second passenger, Julia Gillard, said, "I am the prime Minister of Australia and I am the smartest woman in Australian history, so Australia's people don't want me to die." She took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane. The third passenger, John Kerry, said, "I'm a Senator, and a decorated war hero from the Army of the United Stat ... read more