What do an airport and a illegal abortion have in common? The Hanger.

When Chuck Norris goes through airport security he makes them take their shoes off.

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. “All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards.”

While walking along a beach, a man finds a lamp and rubs it off. A genie appears and offers to grant the man one wish. The man replys, "What about three?" The genie retorts " Look pal, I'm in a hurry, I've been cooped up in that damn lamp for. . ." "OK, alright" the guy responds. "Tell you what, I'm tired of paying for airplane tickets to Hawaii. I'd like you to build a bridge from California to Hawaii." This pisses the genie off. He screams, "Hey, this isn't the movies. Your wish has to be practical." "Do you know the engineering it would take to design that, the materials it would t ... read more

In 1945 Chuck Norris drank a Redbull and jumped out a plane. For image results, Google the word Hiroshima.