You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.

 6588

2  

A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"

 694

1  

At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.

 237

0  

You are so old, the candles on your birthday cake raised earths temperature by 3 degrees.

 7003

3  

An old seamstress is slowly walking back to her job from lunch, when a flasher jumps out of an alley and opens his coat wide. The old woman looks him up and down, shakes her head sadly, and says "You call that a lining?"

 392

0