Man: "How old is your father?" Boy: "As old as me." Man: "How can that be?" Boy: "He became a father only when I was born."

Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945. World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945. What a coincidence.

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader." The gas pump, of course, didn’t respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response. The older alien said, "I’d calm down if I were you." The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump’s haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Gre ... read more

Chuck Norris found the fountain of youth, but...he wasn't thirsty.

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years.