You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.

 6583

2  

When Chuck Norris is as old as dirt, he will be the salt of the earth.

 91

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You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.

 9566

1  

Two old drunks in a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with either of my hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. "By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand" "So," says the second drunk, "what's your point?" "Well," says the first, "I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"

 733

1  

What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down.

 448

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