Q: If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say? A: "Darling, could you tell me about your work."

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A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

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It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.

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Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical? They have strong internal controls.

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What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.

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