Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
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Where do homeless accountants live?
In a tax shelter.
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The clerk walks into the boss's office and says,
"The auditors have just left, sir."
"Have they finished checking the books?", asks the boss.
"Very thoroughly," is the reply.
"Well, what did they say", says the boss.
"They want 15% to keep quiet."
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What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
Depreciation.
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Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
A: The accountant knows he's boring.
