How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.

Q: What do you call a trial balance that doesn't balance? A: A late night.

Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.

A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The accountant does not answer. The Godfather asks again, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you." The Godfather says, "Well ask him where my damn money is!" The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million dollars is. The accountant signs back, "I d ... read more

Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? A: The accountant knows he's boring.