Q: What is the definition of "accountant"? A: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Q: Why do economists exist? A: So accountants have someone to laugh at.

A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The accountant does not answer. The Godfather asks again, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you." The Godfather says, "Well ask him where my damn money is!" The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million dollars is. The accountant signs back, "I d ... read more

Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical? They have strong internal controls.

It's 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?