What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.

Q: If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say? A: "Darling, could you tell me about your work."

Q: Why do economists exist? A: So accountants have someone to laugh at.

Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? A: The accountant knows he's boring.

An accountant dies and goes to heaven (no, that's not the joke). St. Peter, of course, is there, looking through the files and asking a few quick questions. "What sort of accountant were you?" "Oh, I was a CPA", was the reply. "Name?" asks St. Pete. The accountant gives his name and St. Peter finds his file. "Oh yes, we've been expecting you. You've reached your allotted time span." The accountant says, "I don't get it. How can that be? I'm only 48 years old." Pete looks again at the file and says, "Well, that's impossible." "Why do you say that?" asks the accountant. "Well ... read more