It's 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?

 566

1  

An accountant and a lawyer were laying on a beach in Hawaii sipping mai tai's. The lawyer started telling the accountant how he came to be there. "I had this downtown property in Memphis that caught fire and after the insurance paid off, I came here." The accountant said, "I had a downtown property, too, in Miami. It got flooded so here I am with the insurance proceeds." The lawyer took another sip of his mai tai, and then asked in a puzzled voice, "How do you start a flood?"

 11600

3  

Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical? They have strong internal controls.

 610

2  

Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.

 1187

10  

A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."

 6433

6