Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? A: The accountant knows he's boring.
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It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
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What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.
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What do you call an accountant with an opinion? An auditor.
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Q: Why do accountants make good lovers? A: They're great with figures.
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