Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant? A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
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A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
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How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.
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What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.
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Q: What is the definition of "accountant"? A: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
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