What do you call an accountant with an opinion? An auditor.
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A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, “I’m a whore.” The accountant balks and says, “No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let’s try to rephrase that.” The woman, “Ok, I’m a prostitute.” “No, that is still too crude. Try again.” They both think for a minute, then the woman states, “I’m a chicken farmer.” The accountant asks, “ ... read more
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Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant? She charges an arm and a leg.
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Q: Why do accountants make good lovers? A: They're great with figures.
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It's 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?
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