A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud", and then he would swerve back on the road.  As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road.  "I'll give you a lift." The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver sa ... read more

The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. "For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?" “¨"Of course child. What may I do for you?" "Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electronic hair dryer for my Mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?" "I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie." "With your honest face, Father, no one will question you." When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ah ... read more

A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, ”I’m Jesus Christ.” The first priest says, ”No, son, I’m Jesus Christ.” So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest replies, ”No, son, I’m Jesus Christ.” The drunk says, ”Look, I can prove it.” and walks back into the bar with the priests. The bartender takes on look at the drunk and exclaims, ”Jesus Christ, you’re here again?”

One day little Johnny was walking up a hill pulling his red wagon behind him saying, "F**k this," "F**k that." The town priest hears this and walks up to Johnny and says,"You shouldn't swear like that, Johnny. God is all around us." "Is he in the sky?" asks Johnny. "Yes," says the priest. "Is he in that bush over there?" asks Johnny. "Yes," says the priest." Is he in my wagon?" asked Johnny. "Yes," says the priest. "Well tell him to get the f**k out and push!"