The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas. He just hired Chuck Norris.
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The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
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This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
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Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
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Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer? A: "First, YULE LOGon"!
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