A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.

Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that unfortunate incident with the dinosaurs.

Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris. Once.

Mama Raptor and Papa Raptor were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Raptor a choice of which parent to live with. JUDGE: "Do you want to live with your mother?" BABY RAPTOR: "No! She beats me." JUDGE: "OK, then you can live with your father." BABY RAPTOR: "No! He beats me too!" JUDGE: "Well you have to live with someone. Who do you want to live with?" BABY RAPTOR: "I want to live with my Aunt Bertha in Toronto." JUDGE: "Is there any chance she'll beat you also?" BABY RAPTOR: "No sir. The Toronto Raptors don't beat anybody."