Me: "Why am I still single?" Brain: "You're weird as shit." Body: "And you're fat." Face: "Plus you're ugly." Food: "But I'm here for you."

 703

0  

I hate sitting in a seat warmed by someone else..

 791

0  

If they play dirty, then you play dirty.

 795

0  

Hands are so overrated..I think I’ll use my mouth..

 844

1  

I’m a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?

 793

0