I’m spread before I’m eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I? “Peanut Butter”.

 878

0  

There are some people in this world that give my middle finger a boner..

 870

1  

I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.

 797

0  

Age, like distance lends a double charm.

 846

0  

Don’t call the world dirty because you forgot to clean your glasses.

 823

0