Me: "Why am I still single?" Brain: "You're weird as shit." Body: "And you're fat." Face: "Plus you're ugly." Food: "But I'm here for you."

 849

0  

Women only need 3.5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure, …………………….. it’s called a credit card.

 924

10  

I hate how chocolate immediately melt on my fingers. I mean.. am I that hot?

 926

1  

Knows the real fountain of youth is to have a dirty mind and a naughty smile..

 957

4  

We live in a world where losing your iPhone is more dramatic than losing your virginity.

 913

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