Needs to wash his mind out with soap..

 960

0  

My idea of “friends with benefits” is another one of my friends doing my laundry. What were you people thinking.. I have morals.

 933

3  

An evil person is like a dirty window, they never let the light shine through.

 891

2  

Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it’s wide use 3 fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.

 947

1  

Me: "Why am I still single?" Brain: "You're weird as shit." Body: "And you're fat." Face: "Plus you're ugly." Food: "But I'm here for you."

 869

0