Your lips are like wine & I wanna get drunk.

 927

2  

Me: "Why am I still single?" Brain: "You're weird as shit." Body: "And you're fat." Face: "Plus you're ugly." Food: "But I'm here for you."

 836

0  

My idea of “friends with benefits” is another one of my friends doing my laundry. What were you people thinking.. I have morals.

 905

3  

I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.

 925

0  

Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together :)

 911

1