I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.

 808

0  

I just love getting dirty.

 893

2  

I’m a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?

 866

0  

My mother never understood the irony in calling me a “son-of-a-bitch".

 882

0  

We live in a world where losing your iPhone is more dramatic than losing your virginity.

 844

0