My idea of “friends with benefits” is another one of my friends doing my laundry. What were you people thinking.. I have morals.

 941

3  

Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it’s wide use 3 fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.

 955

1  

I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.

 903

0  

Me: "Why am I still single?" Brain: "You're weird as shit." Body: "And you're fat." Face: "Plus you're ugly." Food: "But I'm here for you."

 882

0  

Women only need 3.5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure, …………………….. it’s called a credit card.

 951

10