My mother never understood the irony in calling me a “son-of-a-bitch".

 807

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I hate how chocolate immediately melt on my fingers. I mean.. am I that hot?

 789

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You keep smiling like that and everyone is gonna wonder what you did last night..

 849

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Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it’s wide use 3 fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.

 802

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If they play dirty, then you play dirty.

 794

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