My mother never understood the irony in calling me a “son-of-a-bitch".

 859

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I hate sitting in a seat warmed by someone else..

 848

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You keep smiling like that and everyone is gonna wonder what you did last night..

 909

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If you`re texting two people at the same time, you are bitextual.

 810

0  

Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together :)

 829

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