My mother never understood the irony in calling me a “son-of-a-bitch".

 975

0  

Me: "Why am I still single?" Brain: "You're weird as shit." Body: "And you're fat." Face: "Plus you're ugly." Food: "But I'm here for you."

 879

0  

Women only need 3.5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure, …………………….. it’s called a credit card.

 949

10  

If they play dirty, then you play dirty.

 940

0  

An evil person is like a dirty window, they never let the light shine through.

 898

2