Hands are so overrated..I think I’ll use my mouth..

 858

1  

My mother never understood the irony in calling me a “son-of-a-bitch".

 827

0  

Don’t call the world dirty because you forgot to clean your glasses.

 779

0  

Your lips are like wine & I wanna get drunk.

 805

1  

Me: "Why am I still single?" Brain: "You're weird as shit." Body: "And you're fat." Face: "Plus you're ugly." Food: "But I'm here for you."

 720

0