There are some people in this world that give my middle finger a boner..
 905
1  

My idea of “friends with benefits” is another one of my friends doing my laundry. What were you people thinking.. I have morals.
 859
0  

I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.
 825
0  

Girls dont dress for boys, they dress for themselves. If girls dressed for boys, they’d just walk around naked all the time.
 886
1  

Hands are so overrated..I think I’ll use my mouth..
 927
1