Your lips are like wine & I wanna get drunk.

 819

1  

I hate sitting in a seat warmed by someone else..

 819

0  

Me: "Why am I still single?" Brain: "You're weird as shit." Body: "And you're fat." Face: "Plus you're ugly." Food: "But I'm here for you."

 731

0  

Age, like distance lends a double charm.

 811

0  

What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and squishy? What?! It’s bubble gum. Jeez, what were you thinking?!

 772

0