Your lips are like wine & I wanna get drunk.

 959

2  

If you`re texting two people at the same time, you are bitextual.

 921

2  

What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and squishy? What?! It’s bubble gum. Jeez, what were you thinking?!

 893

2  

My mother never understood the irony in calling me a “son-of-a-bitch".

 958

0  

Me: "Why am I still single?" Brain: "You're weird as shit." Body: "And you're fat." Face: "Plus you're ugly." Food: "But I'm here for you."

 866

0