My mother never understood the irony in calling me a “son-of-a-bitch".

 963

0  

What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and squishy? What?! It’s bubble gum. Jeez, what were you thinking?!

 895

2  

If you`re texting two people at the same time, you are bitextual.

 926

2  

Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together :)

 949

1  

Hands are so overrated..I think I’ll use my mouth..

 986

1