Woman without curves is like a road without bends…. You may get to your destination quicker, but the ride is boring as hell.

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Me: "Why am I still single?" Brain: "You're weird as shit." Body: "And you're fat." Face: "Plus you're ugly." Food: "But I'm here for you."

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Hands are so overrated..I think I’ll use my mouth..

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I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.

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An evil person is like a dirty window, they never let the light shine through.

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