My mother never understood the irony in calling me a “son-of-a-bitch".

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Hands are so overrated..I think I’ll use my mouth..

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I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.

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My idea of “friends with benefits” is another one of my friends doing my laundry. What were you people thinking.. I have morals.

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Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it’s wide use 3 fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.

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