I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.

 868

0  

There are some people in this world that give my middle finger a boner..

 949

1  

I’m a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?

 929

0  

Your lips are like wine & I wanna get drunk.

 937

2  

My mother never understood the irony in calling me a “son-of-a-bitch".

 943

0