Me: "Why am I still single?" Brain: "You're weird as shit." Body: "And you're fat." Face: "Plus you're ugly." Food: "But I'm here for you."

 762

0  

I just love getting dirty.

 864

2  

Your lips are like wine & I wanna get drunk.

 848

1  

I’m a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?

 838

0  

I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.

 792

0