I hate sitting in a seat warmed by someone else..

 967

0  

Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it’s wide use 3 fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.

 943

1  

There are some people in this world that give my middle finger a boner..

 963

1  

I’m spread before I’m eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I? “Peanut Butter”.

 982

1  

If you`re texting two people at the same time, you are bitextual.

 920

2