You keep smiling like that and everyone is gonna wonder what you did last night..

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Me: "Why am I still single?" Brain: "You're weird as shit." Body: "And you're fat." Face: "Plus you're ugly." Food: "But I'm here for you."

 721

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People say I have a dirty mind But I say its just creative

 851

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I’m spread before I’m eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I? “Peanut Butter”.

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My idea of “friends with benefits” is another one of my friends doing my laundry. What were you people thinking.. I have morals.

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