"Why do you take baths in milk?" "I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower."

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Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it.

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Teacher: "Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?" Nick: "What do you think it is, Sir?" Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!" Nick: "I don't think I know either, Sir!"

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Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

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