A guy walks into an antique store and buys a grandfather clock, he walks out of the shop with it and accidentally walks into a drunk guy. (they both fall over and the clock gets smashed to bits) The guy says to the drunk, "Why don't you watch where your going?" and the drunk says, "Why don't you carry a wrist watch like everybody else?"

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I stopped at a friend's house the other day and found him stalking around with a fly-swatter. When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered: "Yeah, three males and two females." Curious, I asked how he could tell the difference. He said: "Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone."

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If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.

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Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra? A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.

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I had to divorce my husband for religious reasons, I'm a catholic and living with him is hell.

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