I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers

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Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.

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It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.

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Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.

 1303

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Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire? A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!

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